And late one night i thought of this

Real life is not life the movies, because in real life, people are not brave. In real life, people have scars and hurts and protect their hearts like age old secrets. Echo chambers of pain reverberating “not too close, not too close.”

One of the problems with love is that when you stand facing each other, you are actually looking in opposite directions.

To Do List.✓

Things to do on October 1st 2010:

Confirm appointment for tomorrow for eye lash extension (no i am not a stripper.) ✓
Talk with crazy old neighbour about mail ✓
Go to work, do very little actual work. ✓
Brush hair ✓
Walk in the sunshine ✓
Have a thousand inane conversations about the weather ✓
Continue to live in denial about having hay fever (it is a spring cold god damn it) ✓
Get dressed in a pretty dress
Go to a lovely friends home
drink red wine
Dance
Laugh
Fall asleep tired, but happy.

Pinch and a Punch to you. ☀♥♣

Walterwalterwalterwalter

walter. wal. ter. w.alter.

This is the name of the man who has my story in his hot little hands. Or lap top. At the very least, he has it on his iphone. And I for one, cannot stop thinking about it. I am more excited about this, than i was about my wedding day. I'm not kidding! Although, in light of the last 7 months, that is probably not the greatest testimony to my enthusiasm, but trust me dear readers, i am butterflies-in-my-stomach excited that the ball is rolling on this area of my life. Ahhhh my life.

Lately it has consisted of work, gym, writing, not doing homework, watching my friends band, seeing friends, eating delicious meals and hanging out with a cute boy whilst playing Cluedo.
There has not been much running in there. And when i say not much, i mean none. Just to be clear. I have lost momentum. I know why too-I had a weirdly mixed up, emotional weekend. It was my mother in laws birthday and i struggled between wanting to put some flowers where her ashes are and having angry, angry conversations about her death with my most trusted confidants. It is a year and 7 months since she died and i am still pissed off.
It is 19 months and 4 days since i last heard her voice in real life and i can still hear the ringing in my ears. When does this end?

The further i move away from grief the more irritating it is when it puts in an appearance. Stupid grief. Go back where you came from.

However.

Feeling so crappy gives me the opportunity to appreciate the lovely people I have in my world. And to thank my lucky stars i have such incredible people to hold my hand, hug me tight and wipe my snot away (I am a messy crier.)
So although "Happy Birthday" is out of the question: I miss you, I love you, and I thought of you all day on Saturday. I know you were not happy towards the end of your life and I am so sorry for that because the sun is shining, Summer is coming, and the world is truly a beautiful, beautiful place. xxxx


Happy Tuesday everyone.

The lines of communication have been opened.

I sent my short story in to a competition and i got an email saying that they got it. Someone is reading my work. Maybe right at this moment.

comment

I have discovered this "Stats" button on this very blog. It tells you how many people have read your post that day. I want to know who you people! If you have time, please leave a comment. i'd like to know your favourite song, what you had for breakfast and what you can see out your bedroom window. Do it!!

School holidays and cold finger tips

Hooray for school holidays!
Come a little closer, i have a secret to tell you....after these holidays i only have one term of school left. A very small term of about 4 or five weeks. Do you know what this means my friends? YESSSSSSS i will no longer be a student!!
This means:
1. wednesday, thursday and saturdays will be mine! All mine! For strolls in the parks and breakfasts at noon and french lessons with friends, scrolls by the river side, cocktails on a friday night and rediscovering week night tv.
2. No more driving to no mans land three times a week.
3. I can work more, earn more, buy more stuff i don't need.

SO EXCITING!!!!

I love studying and learning but by GOD these last two years have been rough. Death, divorce, moving, changing jobs-for crying out loud, no wonder i am tired! It has been the hardest two years of my life BY FAR but i have done it! (almost.) It's amazing. I feel light headed with shock that i am still here, still standing and with another little feather in my bow. or hat. or whatever that saying is.

okay i need to go have a little sleep now.

Thursday

Well.
I have found a way to combine the things that are not good for me with the things that ARE good for me. No, no, no, i am not talking about watching The Hills whilst on a treadmill or dating a psychologist. (yes dating is bad for me)
I'm talking about accepting the fact that i will drink coffee everyday. Then using this as an incentive to get some exercise. So, for the last couple of days i have been walking to the coffee shop. Big deal? Well yes it is, depending on which cafe i decide to go to. Yesterday i walked through the St Kilda Botanic Gardens which are SO beautiful. Then on to Acland St for a latte. In total: 5.5km.
Today I was less ambitious and just walked to this cafe i used to go to every day. Total: 2.5km.
I have stopped walking on the beach since that lady got attacked a few days ago. I cannot imagine anything more horrifying. It's been nice to reacquaint myself with the suburban streets i live amongst.

Oh, and i also bought a magazine. a HEALTH magazine. AND i finally submitted my short story to a competition. I then spent the next hour reading the winning entries from previous years and feeling very scared indeed of it being successful. Heart, sleeve etc etc.