Things I have learnt since becoming a mama.

So I have been a mum for almost two weeks now. It is the most overwhelming, weird, amazing and disorienting thing i have ever done in my life! Here's what I have learnt so far:

Babies cannot read clocks. This is annoying at 4am when they think it's playtime.
Breast pads make good coasters.
Breastfeeding is fricking hard to learn.
The use of the word "breast" increases ten fold, once you have a baby.
Your baby is cute, even when it has sticky eyes and milk and snot coming out its nose.
You never really "catch up" on sleep, but you do somehow function.
Your brain actually comes back a little bit after the fog of pregnancy. I FINALLY know my own phone number off by heart.
Everyone loves a baby. We took the Small One out for lunch and being new parents, didn't think abut the logistics of holding a baby whilst eating (we may not be prepared but check out her cute hat!) Luckily, all the ladies in the cafe passed her around until we had finished. And yes, we did consider leaving her there and ducking home for a sleep.
They wee so much more than i thought possible. All day long. All night long. And especially when they have no nappy on.
Sometimes I have no idea what i am doing. Other times, I am on top of it. Nothing is permanent though and just when you have worked out what the hungry face looks like, it turns out it is remarkably similar to the "i am actually just tired and you have fallen in to my trap of feeding me to sleep. Ha-ha-ha, now you will have to do that for the next year" face.
Midwives are amazing. But some are annoying and i hate them.
Babies are not stupid. The Small One instantly stops crying when she hears the creaky floorboard next to Welsh's side of the bed. Often, just hearing it is enough to send her to sleep, usually though, it just stops her crying because she knows help is on the way.
I would rather look at her face than watch TV.

xxxxx