Weight Loss for Dummies.

Well.

I have not jogged for hmmm, two weeks now. But i weighed myself this morning and was shocked to see that since i have been home from Malaysia, i have lost 4.5 kilos. Now before you get all mortified, i am still smack bang in the middle of "healthy" on the BMI scale and i did put on a few kay gees whilst in Malaysia.
Anyway, i am putting this weight loss down to a few factors and have entitled this successful program;

The Emotional Rollarcoaster Diet.

Preparation: Meet an entirely unsuitable man. Marry him. Two years and four days later, sit in a cafe and hear the almost comical statement of I love you, i'm just not In love with you. Laugh a little bit.

Whilst dealing with the divorce and all the gory repercussions, loosely follow these instructions:

Saturday: Wake up and decide to skip your class. Feel guilty for a moment before realising that today is the day that you are going to meet your favourite reality TV star Whitney Port! Get a bit of sunstroke, laugh until you almost vomit and jump unexpectedly on a friend in the middle of the city. Go to bed that night exhausted and euphoric.

Sunday: Go to work on a sunday. Let me repeat for those in the cheap seats. Go to work. On a Sunday. Booooooooo.

Monday: work again. Massive bore. Then, go over to an old friends house for dinner. End up talking until after midnight about the last nine years. Cry a little bit into a napkin and discuss the perils of internet dating. Drive home tired, but happy.

Tuesday: wake up early and disoriented. Work. Boring. Call your mum-it's her birthday. Realise this is the first time you have spoken to her in three weeks. Go straight from work to check out a potential new home. Meet potential new house mate. Spend an hour laughing and fail to talk about anything relevant ie do either of us own a fridge? Go to bed that night with your fingers crossed that she like you as much as you liked her.

Wednesday: WORK AGAIN! Get an early SMS-from your new housemate! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. wonder why it makes you feel like crying. Go to class. avoid telling anyone about your new house in fear it will lead to a discussion about why the hell you are looking for a new house in the first place. Wonder how you are studying Art Therapy but have managed to avoid opening that particular can of worms in class. hmmm. Get home, phone call. Someone has had a little baby. Have a little tear.

Thursday. Oh my god are you seriously going to work again? School afterwards. home. blog about weight loss while eating pizza shapes on the couch.

And there you have it boys and girls. Follow at your own risk!